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Tuesday, April 24, 2018 - 12:30pm

5 Ways For Parents To Empower Daughters In An Unkind World

 

While opportunities for women have advanced significantly in recent decades, studies reflect that the path to personal independence and growth isn’t always smooth - starting in early childhood up through high school.

 

Gender stereotypes persist. According to a survey of 1,900 girls and young women between 7 and 21, conducted by the charity Girlguiding, many feel that pressure from social media, TV, friends, teachers and parents affects how they think and act. Another study in the Journal of Adolescent Health reported that stereotypes of girls were reinforced by schools, parents and the media, thereby limiting their mobility and access to opportunities.

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One possible answer, says mentor and author Sheri Engler, is for parents to empower their daughters from a young age.

 

“We parents need to take the necessary time from our busy lives to find out what our daughters are experiencing on a daily basis,” says Engler, author of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages (www.ThePearlsOfWisdomBook.com).

 

“We must break down barriers to success early on. Otherwise, girls frequently surrender their ‘surplus’ qualities before they even leave grade school, because they feel they won’t be accepted if they are ‘too much.’ They are not allowed too many gifts for fear of alienating boys and competing with other girls. This has to stop.”

 

Engler says five ways parents can empower their daughters and help them grow into strong, successful women are:

 

 

  • Explain the social dynamic. “Help them understand the reasons why boys may be intimidated by powerful girls, and why girls may become jealous and pull down a girl who has too much,” Engler says.

 

  •  Help them avoid social programming. Engler says that most forms of mass media “bombard girls with destructive messages.” With character development so important, Engler says parents need to offer more positive influences. “Discouraging Facebook is a good place to start,” Engler says, “due to its entrainment of a ‘me-oriented’ society.”

  

  • Provide social alternatives. Connecting with other parents and families who hold similar values is one option. Engler says, "Parents need to find out what’s really going on with their daughters, both at home and at school. Perhaps consider online or home schooling if your child is being affected by negative conditioning from peers and/or misguided authority figures. Sadly, damaging messages come from every direction.”

 

 

  • Teach them to help others. Parents can role-model strengthening values. These values could be exemplified by going together to volunteer in soup kitchens, to foster homeless animals, or to visit lonely, old people in nursing homes. “Learning compassion for others supports strong self-esteem through character building,” Engler says.

 

 

  •  Help them identify their unique desires and abilities. “Encourage pride in being who they are on an authentic level,” Engler says. “Help them experience life’s many aspects so they may explore their natural abilities and interests, while paying particular attention to what truly brings them joy - because that is usually where their authentic selves reside.”

 

“We need to prevent damage early on,” Engler says, “instead of trying to fix it after it’s too late.”

 

 

 

About Sheri Engler

 

 

Sheri Engler is the author/illustrator of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages (www.ThePearlsOfWisdomBook.com). She is an experienced mentor, medium, and metaphysicist with a background in psychology, counseling and research. She received a BA in Clinical Psychology at San Francisco State University.

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3 Ways Stress Takes A Toll On Your Body

 

Did the latest challenge at work bring on a tightening in your stomach? Does constant worry about a loved one’s health make you physically ill yourself?

Everyone at some point feels the effects of stress. Not everyone deals with stress in the best way, though.

“Often stressed-out people seek relief through alcohol, tobacco or drugs, but that just makes matters worse,” says Richard Purvis, a health and wellness practitioner and author of Recalibrate: Six Secrets to Resetting Your Age (www.richardpurvisauthor.com).

“Instead of relieving stress, those toxic substances tend to keep the body in a stressed state, causing even more physical problems.”

April is Stress Awareness Month, a good time to reflect on how the demands and anxieties of daily life put a strain not just on our minds, but on our bodies as well.

Stress, of course, is not always a bad thing. It does serve a positive purpose.

“It can keep us alert and prepares us to avoid danger,” Purvis says. “But stress becomes a negative factor when a person faces continuous challenges without any time mixed in for relief or relaxation.”

As a result, he says, people become overworked, and stress-related anxiety and illness can occur. The strain leads them to suffer from such ailments as headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain and problems sleeping.

Purvis says a few examples of how stress can play havoc on our bodies include:

  • Musculoskeletal system. When we experience stress, it’s natural for our muscles to tense up. “It’s the body’s way of guarding against injury and pain,” Purvis says. Usually, the muscles relax once the stressful event passes. But chronic stress keeps the muscles in a constant state of guardedness. “When muscles are taut and tense for long periods of time other reactions in the body are triggered,” he says. Chronic muscle tension in the shoulders, neck and head can lead to tension-type headaches and migraines.
  • Respiratory system. Stress causes people to breathe harder. “That’s not a problem for most people,” Purvis says. “But if you suffer from asthma or a lung disease such as emphysema, getting essential oxygen can be difficult.” He says some studies show that acute stress events – such as the death of a loved one – can trigger asthma attacks in which the airway between the nose and the lungs constrict. Also, rapid breathing associated with stress – or hyperventilation – can result in a panic attack in some people.
  • Gastrointestinal system. Sometimes people who are stressed will eat much more than usual. Sometimes they will eat much less. Neither is healthy. “You can get heartburn or acid reflux if you eat more food or different types of food, or if you increase how much alcohol you drink or tobacco you use,” Purvis says. When you’re stressed, the brain sends alert sensations to the stomach. Your stomach can react with “butterflies,” nausea or pain. “Severe stress can cause vomiting, diarrhea or constipation,” he says. “If your stress becomes chronic, you might develop ulcers or severe stomach pain.”

So what’s to be done? Purvis points out that stress is a natural occurrence in life and happens to everyone.

“Since you can’t avoid your job, bills, or other life experiences, the best thing to do is learn to manage stress,” he says. “You won’t avoid stress entirely, but it is possible to minimize the effects by eating healthy, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and taking care of yourself in general.”

 

About Richard Purvis

 

Richard Purvis, author of Recalibrate: Six Secrets to Resetting Your Age, (www.richardpurvisauthor.com) is a health and wellness practitioner with more than 30 years of dedicated experience in nutrition, exercise, anti-aging and overall wellness. He is the current CEO of Skin Moderne Inc., and was founder of such wellness companies as Nutrimax, Nutritbrands and Skin Nutrition. He also was co-founder of Noggin Nosh.

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 5 Financial-Planning Tips For Young Investors

 

Being a young adult can be exciting – enjoying the early stages of a career, having your own place, making new friends – but it can also be confusing and stressful. One of the reasons is money, and learning how to manage it.

In a financial literacy survey of more than 5,500 young adults, the National Endowment for Financial Education and George Washington University found that only 8 percent of those ages 23 to 35 showed a high level of financial knowledge.

“For those just starting their careers or beginning to save for their retirement, the financial planning world can be quite daunting,” says Richard Paul, president of Richard Paul & Associates, LLC  (www.rwpaul.com), a financial advisory firm in Michigan, and author of The Baby Boomers’ Retirement Survival Guide.  

“One flaw of our education system is the lack of preparedness it provides for younger investors just starting off. When it comes to stocks, bonds, 401(k)s, and debt, the task of planning is overwhelming to most.” 

Paul offers young adults five tips for fundamental financial planning:

  • Automate your contributions. The easiest way to invest is to automatically direct a portion of each paycheck into your investment accounts. “You’ll quickly get used to having less money to spend each month, and your savings will grow automatically,” Paul says. “And if your employer offers a match into your retirement account, be sure to take advantage of that. That’s free money.”
  • Take control of your health. You might think your health doesn’t fit into a discussion of financial planning, but being proactive when it comes to health – whether it’s getting your annual physical or daily exercise – will pay dividends in the future. “A retiree today is expected to spend $275,000 over their retirement on health care,” Paul says. “By investing in your health when you’re young, you can reduce your potential for future health care costs.”
  • Get out of debt. “Paying down your debt reduces the amount of interest expense you pay each year,” Paul says. “And often, people are paying more in interest than they are likely to earn by investing.” Studies show the average American under the age of 35 has between $23,000 and $30,000 of debt in the form of credit cards, student loans, auto loans and other forms of personal debt. According to a NerdWallet 2017 study, the average U.S. household that’s carrying credit card debt has a balance of $15,654.
  • Build and protect your credit. Your credit score is an indicator of your financial health. “The list of people who have an interest in your credit score seems to keep growing every year,” Paul says. “Damaged credit can be costly over time. Pay all bills on time by setting up payment reminders or enrolling in auto pay. Pay down balances on credit cards; high balances relative to total available credit affect your credit score.”
  • Buy into panic, not excitement. If the stock market sells off by 5 to 10 percent over any given month or week, Paul recommends you take your excess cash and buy the dip. “Only use excess cash, not any cash that is needed to pay bills,” he says. On the flip side, when the market is going up significantly Paul advises: “Wait for a correction if you’re sitting on the sidelines.”

“Young people need to know how to plan financially,” Paul says. “There’s a tendency to put it off, but that’s risky. There’s too much to lose. You’re not young forever and without a plan, you’re unprotected for your future.”

 

About Richard W. Paul

Richard W. Paul is the president of Richard Paul & Associates, LLC (www.rwpaul.com) and the author of The Baby Boomers' Retirement Survival Guide: How to Navigate Through the Turbulent Times Ahead. He is a Certified Financial PlannerTM professional, Registered Financial Consultant, Investment Adviser Representative and an insurance professional holding life and health insurance licenses in Michigan and Florida.