Error message

Bonking

Tuesday, September 17, 2019 - 3:00pm
John Kushma

We are an addictive society here in America ...drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, food ...media.  You name it, we’ll abuse it.  We’ll abuse it to the point of addiction, and even to the point that the rest of us are paying the medical bills and the psychological and physical rehabilitation for our addicted fellow Americans.  

 

How?  Obesity, for example.  If you eat too much, if your are addicted to food no matter what your reason or excuse, you’ll end up in the doctor’s office with heart and other related problems.  Your healthcare provider or psychiatrist will treat you and prescribe drugs and a dietary regimen, exercise, or administer hypnosis.  Your insurance company will pay the bills.  Because of you, others of us, who are not ‘addicted‘ to food, and who are not gluttons, pay higher insurance premiums to cover your ‘medical’ costs. 

 

The doctors get their cut, the drug companies make their millions, your insurance company makes its billions.  The manufacturers of the alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex toys and pornography, cupcakes, pies and ice cream ...are all making fortunes on your (our) dime and on your addiction. 

 

How about our drug addiction? ...Americans are the primary consumer of drugs coming over the southern border.  

 

I’m not trying to make light of the problem of addiction.  Anyone can be susceptible to a wide range of addictions, alcohol being possibly the most common and widespread.  Medical science has shown that some of us are more inclined, chemically and through DNA, even personality and lifestyle, to become addicted.  Some of us are stronger than others and can make the necessary lifestyle and psychological adjustments to curtail and control addiction, but many of us are either controlled or consumed by addiction and desperately need outside help. 

 

However, there are some ‘addictions‘ for which there is no other good reason a person becomes addicted other than pure stupidity.  I don’t know another way to put it.  “Vaping‘ for example.  I mean, this addiction or fad, or whatever you’d call it, has got to be connected to IQ.  Granted, for some who are trying to quit a tobacco addiction, Vaping can be a reasonable step in addition to arm patches, medicated chewing gum, etc.  However, like most things we American’s become obsessed with, and as the manufacturers of these products continuously and shamelessly market to us exploiting our worst and weakest instincts, we follow suit and stupidly fall right into their financial game-plan. 

 

The JUUL company, a primary manufacturer of these Vaping devices, is promoting their product as the 21st Century Cigarette.  These devices are not medically approved by any accredited institution like the AMA.  Further, there are reports of lung disease and Cancer by people using these products.  Even further, and incredibly so, JUUL is targeting kids with these products, much like breakfast cereal manufacturers market to kids, with flavored Vaping chemicals ...flavors like “Cotton Candy” ...”Pop Corn” ...”Bubble Gum” ...etc.  Can you believe it?!  How dare they?! ...How can they get away with it?!   

 

It’s got to be as much an IQ issue on our part, and the susceptibility of young kids, as much as it is a financial issue of greed and corporate wealth on their part.  Shameless. 

 

Well, get ready for the next fad / addiction to sweep the country.  ‘Bonking’.  Definitely a direct connection to IQ.  It's seen mostly in young adults right now, but it will assuredly catch on to all age groups. 

 

Bonking is embarrassingly easy to explain.  Simply put, Bonking employs the using of a wooden mallet, a ‘bung starter’, the kind they used in the old days to pound a ‘bung‘, which is a plug, into a wooden cask or barrel.  Commonly used in beer and whiskey making.  Maybe that's the root of this sport turned addiction.

 

A ‘Bonker‘ will continuously hit himself (or herself) over the head with the bung starter mallet until a feeling of euphoria is achieved.  Sometimes one ‘bonk‘ is sufficient to achieve nirvana, but for some multiple ‘bonks‘ are required.  They must have harder heads. 

 

This ‘Bonking’ phenomenon is reported as having started somewhere in the southeastern part of the U.S. but it is a rapidly growing and habit-forming addiction.  Some compare it with cock fighting or even Russian Roulette.  There is betting on odds of a fatality and how many ‘bonks‘ it will take.  Apparently, there is a thin line between reaching that ‘bonk nirvana’ and a cerebral hemorrhage leading to death. 

 

There is no AMA ruling or government regulations on Bonking ...yet, but there have been some self-regulating guidelines and practices initiated.  For example, the bung starter mallet must be of a standard size and weight with no metal or rubber parts.  There is a ten-bonk maximum and a one-bonk minimum.  A ‘Bonking helmet‘ is allowed but not required, similar in design to the helmets worn by bull riders in rodeos. 

 

Okay, yes, I’m kidding.  There is no such thing as Bonking.  Had you there for a minute, didn’t I?  At least I don’t think there is.  But my point and the question I ask is ...all things considered and given the unknown and potentially severe consequences of these two ‘addictions’ ...is Bonking any less stupid than Vaping?  

 

Your answer should be ‘No’.                                 

 

                  

John Kushma is a communication consultant and lives in Logan, Utah

https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-george-kushma-379a5762

http://newsbout.com/a/John+Kushma

Tags: